Going west
It is the time for acknowledging that I am going west. Toward the sunset.
I should get one of those old Western films, in which the cowboy once more rides West, going into the sunset, saying goodbye to all.
Cowboys didn't have either email or WiFi, but the feeling remains. I will be going soon in that direction, and feelings are running raw: the merest of insinuations is an open invitation, the slightest rebuttal is a fight.
Much better to sink into a predictable pattern of heavy work and grueling workouts, to take my mind away from me, dulling the thoughts of people again disappearing, and reducing the pain that comes from separation. How often can I travel and forget my roots, I don't know. I simply have never been in a place long enough to call it my own, or as soon as I do, and I am feeling part of it, I go.
Everyday means remembering it for what it is worth, and it comes as a wave, as imminent and liberating as death, and as exhilarating as finding the ocean for the first time.
I know I should be going, that all the places that I love are there, that I should start looking for people with similar ideas, backgrounds, emotions and interests. I hope that I can build a network as powerful and beautiful as the one that I have here, where I know stories and frustrations, and they know mine.
I should be so lucky to find so many smiling faces, so deep a loyalty, so profound a love.
I miss this town already. I miss these people.