Swiffie
Finally, the side of the story that everybody was waiting for, from a direct witness, Swiffie the boat:
"Sometimes you have to say 'I think I can' when faced with adversity," said Swiffie. "I didn't back down when Tonkin Tugboat challenged me to a race up the Mekong, and dammit, I'm going to speak my mind now."
You can, Swiffie, I think you can.